So I have to repent (change my mind) and act to protect my prior commitment even though it means trouble and looking foolish and also letting down the person I wanted to help. There is a story in Ezra which helped me to see what i needed to do. Israel had ignored God's command not to marry foreign wives, who had to suffer being sent away when Israel repented and chose to go God's way. It sounds harsh to us, but it is there to help us realise how important it is to obey God. Repenting and doing it right later is not the best way, although it is better than completely ignoring God.
I have just had a letter from our primary contact in Africa. This is what has motivated me to write this blog. Communication is so important. It keeps relationships alive. Having a relationship is so much better than just a "mission project". The letter is giving me strength to start making jam again, which has been neglected for months. Well, I've only done marmalades, plus one batch of apricot jam and a couple of strawberry jam batches. Last year by this time I had produced 100 jars brim-full and I am no where near that in 2015.
So shortly, a big lot of apricot jam will hit the table at church! It is a small (though significant) effort for me in the scheme of things, but for Kondoan pastors who earn no income and have children to buy school uniforms for, it is a very big thing.